tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17179357617492470772024-02-07T08:47:50.605-08:00The SpeightsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger128125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-35974551563814979792018-01-18T08:55:00.001-08:002018-01-18T08:55:55.849-08:002018 Goals -- Part 2 -- BoundariesIn my last post I talked about authenticity being one of my goals going forward.<br />
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It has been something I struggled with during my faith crisis. and to be honest I will probably continue to have a few of those walls up as floods of messages came in telling me how sad they are for me, and how much they pity me. BUT I also got a flood of messages coming in of people telling me how much they loved me, not in spite of me leaving, but just because they know who I am as a person and my religion doesn't matter and never has. </div>
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Boundaries is a big one that I have been struggling with my whole life. I have constantly let people over step my boundaries in ways I haven't actually been okay with, but I have either been to scared to enforce those boundaries or I was worried that person would feel like I was being uncaring and rude; a problem for me emotionally because i can't stand to have anyone feel like they are not cared for, or that I am rude. </div>
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I have had many friends help me in learning about boundaries. Both those who have crossed them and I had to learn to cut them loose, and those who have called me out when they know I am not enforcing them. </div>
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The biggest example of this is me in the adoption world. You guys, I have so much love for adoption. It is a MASSIVE part of my life. I wouldn't be sitting at this computer typing these words if it wasn't for adoption. When I started blogging, I started because I had so many emotions and I have always processed my emotions through writing. I wasn't ever in a million years expecting readers to actually read my blog. I started going to conferences, and birth mom activities. I started creating retreats and other events. Because when I was surrounded by these people, by some of you reading this, I felt heard and understood. I felt loved and cared about. I felt whole for just a split second. And a good majority of those I met because of adoption are still my best friends. </div>
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The only problem with completely engulfing myself in this world was that I started to lose all sense of boundaries. I welcomed birth moms in my home, some of which were amazing experiences, while others stole from me or it turned sour. But the main issue was always that I would drop anything to drive them somewhere, I would spend money I didn't have to help them. I also would message 10-100 birth moms a day talking to them about their problems. The only thing is, I noticed that few if any asked me about mine. I just threw myself completely into adoption without any regard for my self. My friend Desha, and a few others saw the stress this was causing me, and after much internal fighting with myself, I ditched my old Facebook and made a new Facebook page. </div>
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I didn't get the new Facebook because I hated helping people, I didn't do it because I hated adoption. I did it because I needed to. I had to. I had to take back my life and my boundaries. </div>
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Ever since then, I have been working hard to do some type of self care regularly. </div>
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I stopped limiting myself on Jessa time and because of that beautiful things came about</div>
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Retreats started to become easier to come by and plan. </div>
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I started focusing on my true friendships and growing in those. </div>
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Traveling and Concerts and Staycations have become a regular thing for me and I come back every time feeling refreshed and ready to conquer. </div>
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I took control of my mental health and started seeing an incredible therapist. </div>
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I built a beautiful relationship with God. </div>
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and I just became more engaged in the career I love and with my family. </div>
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boundaries will always be something I struggle with. Every time I fight with someone, or an acquaintance ends, or a friendship fades...I harp on it. I overthink it. I cry about it. But it is okay, because at least I know who my true friends are, I know I am whole and taken care of , and I feel better. </div>
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I love my friends. I am endlessly and completely loyal to them. They are my rock through so many trials and tough situations. But because I focus on quality over quantity, my life has been greatly enriched and blessed tremendously. </div>
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So here is to Boundaries!! </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-40556868386017047422017-12-30T18:04:00.002-08:002017-12-30T18:07:23.019-08:002018 Goals -- Part 1<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; text-size-adjust: auto;">
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Been thinking and pondering a lot about what my goals for 2018 will be. Yah there is the usual “i need to eat better, and be better at picking my clothes off the bathroom floor” But this year i wanted to pick a character based goal. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">It’s no secret i have no problem speaking my mind. But one thing i greatly struggle with is being full authentic with the small parts of my life. Some people already know about my journey these past two years, but i feel all the private messages and questions i’m getting would be better in black and white for everyone to see.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">The Mormon church is an incredibly special thing in my life. It gave me a great moral background and a lot of fun activities growing up. I loved (and still love the memories) of Girls Camp, OakCrest, Youth Conference and Pioneer Trek. My parents used those values to teach me the value of service, compassion, and loving other people. I met many friends because of the Mormon church. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;">I haven't gone to church but a few times in the last couple years. I didn't stop going because of John Dehlin or issues with church history. That just wasn't the case for me. (Although I don't think people who stop going because of that are wrong). I didn't stop going to church because I was offended. I stopped going to church because of how it made me feel. </span></div>
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As shared in my previous post, I went through some really interesting experiences as a 14 year old. After that, the church for me was tainted emotionally. Anytime I walked into a church building after that, I felt shame and unworthiness rush over my body like a giant tidal wave. I tried so hard though to keep going, maintain faithfulness, and do what I was supposed to. I worked hard to become worthy, I got married in the temple, I blessed my children, I converted friends. I did it all. Yet, the pangs of unworthiness and shame still remained deep within me. Anxiety and panic setting in every time. I decided to take a break. </div>
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A break I took. I didn't do anything wild. I just chose to not go to church. I went to other churches but they didn't feel right either. One took God out of the equation completely, one was fire and brimstone, one was just a little loud for my taste. I began to feel discouraged - I love Christ. I love my Heavenly Father. I love scriptures and the stories they have to offer, <span style="font-size: xx-small;">and I don't really care if they are historical, they to me still represent wonderful stories of how to be a good person</span>. I wanted to find something where I could still worship God, I wanted a community, but most of all I just wanted to feel completely accepted for being unabashedly me. </div>
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I started seeking God. Not just in a religious sense, but in a personal sense. I started attending a Christian church and things changed for me a little. I was able to hear of God. I didn't feel pressure to be a certain way, or be a certain person. I didn't feel judged about my career. I was just an awesome mom who loved Christ and wanted to feel his love. </div>
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Something in me in the last year has changed. I am happier. I am emotionally lighter. I am more confident. I am no longer weighted down by intense shame. I am worthy. I am worthy. And I am able to tell people to their face when questioned, Just because my happiness and fulfillment does not come from the LDS church right now (or possibly ever) does not in any way diminish your happiness and fulfillment from your religion or faith. We are all brothers an sisters just trying to find what keeps us happy and fulfilled. </div>
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So this year I am going to be authentic. I am going to be me. I am not going to apologize for things that make you "sad for me" or make you uncomfortable. Deal with it or don't. What I really hope and wish for is that you can see that I am very happy. That my faith in Christ and most importantly MYSELF is stronger and more brilliant than it ever has been. </div>
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In the light of Authenticity, here are my confessions/declarations that I need you to know. </div>
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1. I Love Christ, My Heavenly Father, and I believe very strongly in a higher power. I have had so many experiences that mean so much to me, that I have a hard time every disputing the fact that there is a higher power. And If you don't believe in the same higher power, or a higher power at all, I don't care. I love you. Not in spite of your choices of worship or lack there of, but because of who you are. </div>
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2. I have tattoos. I actually have quite a few. And, I am not ashamed of them. In fact, they boost my confidence. They are beautiful. They mean something to me. They mean a lot to me. I will probably get more tattoos. There are people who have asked me to keep them covered around them, and I will continue doing that as best as I can out of respect. But It is me, it is my body. </div>
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3. I am a huge supporter and serious ally of the LGBTQ community. I realize it has its own complications for people. But I really just love everyone. If I don't like a person, its because of who they are as a person, or because I don't jive with them, not because of their sexual orientation. Within this confession or declaration I am also telling you that I am bisexual. It is something few people know. But I don't really care anymore. It is a part of me. No, it is not a choice. No, that does not mean I am attracted to a bunch of women. This is just how I am wired. It is who I am and I can't really change that. Trust me, Ive tried. lol. </div>
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Lastly (for today, cuz who i am kidding lol)</div>
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4. Being a working mom is not something I do because I have to. It is something I do because I want to. I am soooooo proud of my career. I am proud of being a working member of society. It gives me purpose. I love and cherish the fact that I am the breadwinner of the family. I love that I am teaching my daughter she can do ANYTHING she sets her mind to. That you don't have to have formal training in something if you are willing to learn and to hustle. I want my son to know it is okay to support women in their dreams and in their careers. It is more than okay, its awesome. Being a stay at home mom were some of the darkest times in my life. Days of sitting on the couch, being so incredibly depressed and hating my life. Not engaging with my children at all. Now, I get up in the morning, I talk to my kids and get them ready. I tell them I love them about a million times. When I come home, I am engaged. I take them to experience things, to do things, to enjoy this life they are living. I read them books, I cuddle, I get on the floor and play with them. They are happy kids. they are loved kids, and they know they are loved. I am not ashamed of having a career. I also do not think having a career makes me better than those that Stay at home. I think they are amazing humans and there are those who were just meant to be stay at home moms and thrive in that role. </div>
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So there is me, writing a journal entry/blog/answering questions. Next one will be on why boundaries are hard for me :) </div>
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Love who you are. Be who you are. Unashamed. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-76781373862827754332017-12-18T10:10:00.002-08:002017-12-18T10:10:36.347-08:00Know Better. Do Better. -- LDS Worthiness Interviews and Lay Clergy<div>
<b>TL;DR -- Listen to <a href="ttp://radiowest.kuer.org/post/lds-worthiness-interviews-and-lay-clergy">THIS PODCAST</a> and think about signing <a href="https://www.gopetition.com/petitions/protect-the-children-stop-mormon-masturbation-interviews.html">THIS Petition</a></b></div>
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I have talked about this publicly before. And I am not trying to beat a dead horse, but this needs to be said and it NEEDS to be talked about. </div>
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I am not the only one this has happened to. And this doesn't just happen to "those types of people". This is also not because bishops are bad men. This is a practice issue. This is a culture issue, and authority issue. This is an education issue. Also, the following article is not a dig on my parents, nor is it a dig on the church. It is a know better, do better call to action. </div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At 14 years old, I was accused of something horrific. At that time in my life, I was a compulsive liar when it came to my parents because my anxiety leaves me with an intense fear of disapproval. So, there were moments that I lied, even when I didn’t have to because I was scared. Not because my parents beat me, but because I love my parents so much I want their extreme approval for everything. So this horrific accusation, made by some family, was not what they were making it out to be. I was immediately blamed for it, being the older child in the situation, and my life fell apart before my eyes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I lost one side of my family completely. They rarely if ever talk to me, and when they do, they are superficial and forced. It killed me because this side of my family was the side of family connection I craved the most at this time in my life. I felt completely pushed aside by all of them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Then, I was forced to go the bishop. Where I sat alone with a 50 something year old man, and he asked me some pretty gross, personal, and inappropriate (in my opinion) questions. This same bishop also told me that I could never actually truly be forgiven in this life and It was up to God on whether he wanted to forgive me when I passed onto the next life. He told me that our lives would play on a big screen in front of everyone and they would all see the disgusting choices I have made. He then disfellowshipped me, which is a very public and shaming punishment for such a young child. At this age, church was everything to me. It was all I knew. Now I had to ignore the sacrament, refuse the request for prayers and talks, then I was released from my calling in Young Women’s. For a teenager, a young teenager, your life may as well be over. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Following that you see my journal (following are actual excerpts) in a matter of weeks go from </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I will never be able to get married in the temple now” and “I am a horrible person, no wonder my parents hate me”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I found these journal entries the other day, while going through my memory book. I cried through the whole last half of it. It is heart breaking. Throughout this journal, You can see all the things I loved, but you could also see that my anxiety was just taking over my life little by little and I didn’t know at the time, what that was or how to deal with it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I describe myself in my journal many times as Jessa 1 and Jessa 2, while this may seem scary to some and slightly schizophrenic, what it actually was, was my way of explaining that when my anxiety took over I became a completely different person and when I came out of that anxious state I would feel self-loathing, remorseful, and suicidal. At 14 I mentioned suicide MANY times in my journal, saying how easy it would be for my parents and family if I left, because I was constantly being told I was the cause for all contention, so why live. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I wasn’t a perfect child by any means and will never claim to be, but I was also very deep in a mental illness called anxiety that I didn’t know how to control or even what it was. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">While you may think that "this is not a widely run issue, and this doesn't happen often." And you may also think "It is her fault for being a problem teen" </span><span style="font-size: large;">STOP. LISTEN.</span></span></span></blockquote>
This is common. It happens all the time. I find it so odd that members use the justification of "Well they are just men, doing their best, trying to help." EXACTLY. They are <i>just </i>men. They are not professional counselors. They are not sexual experts. They are mailmen, businessmen, accountants, etc. They do not and should not have the authority to talk to young children or ANYONE for that matter about sexual practices. It is just setting our children up for situations they should not be in.<br />
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Members see these men as some of the utmost authority in our wards and religion. As a child/teen/adult we sometimes have a hard time seeing the line blurring of appropriate/inappropriate. I didn't even question the questions my bishop asked me, because he was a man of God, he must be asking me these questions because God told him to.<br />
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Here are my pleas to you.<br />
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1. Don't allow your children to go into an interview alone with a bishop, young women's leader, or stake president alone EVER. You just shouldn't.<br />
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2. If you choose to allow your teens and children to still go to these interviews alone. At the very least, you better educate them. You tell them what is appropriate and what is not. We spend so much time teaching your children what is appropriate with the law of chastity. We forget to tell our children what is appropriate/inappropriate to be asked from a bishop. And if it is uncomfortable, its probably inappropriate. If it is anything more than are you worthy, its probably inappropriate.<br />
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3. For the love of all that is holy. Stop the shame cycle. I really in my heart believe pornography is a yucky thing. But I also believe and have read many research showing that the reason why so many Mormon men have become addicted to it is because of Shame. Masturbation IS natural. Read any number of scientific journals on it. It is normal. What is not normal? Excessive masturbation, using materials to aid in masturbation. Those are what we should be worried about.<br />
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I truly hope that even if one person can learn from my story, or so many others, we can stop this. Together we can change this and fix it.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-15949936482519054492017-06-25T12:29:00.001-07:002017-06-25T12:31:28.549-07:00Who I amWhile I realize I have spent the last 28 years figuring out who I am, I have spent the last 2 years REALLY discovering who i am.<br />
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At 26 years old, I was working what I thought was my dream job, Running a successful non-profit that meant the absolute world to me, and just all in all ecstatic to be alive. I knew who my friends were, and what they meant to me. </div>
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Later that year, my world completely changed. My husband's mental health went down the drain, one of my "best friends" destroyed any sense of trust I had in humanity, and I was put into the behavioral health unit for daily horrific panic attacks. I quit my job (slightly because I felt obligated because of said "best friend" and slightly because 24 hr/day adoption was too much for me), and I started fresh. I began once a week therapy and leaned on a very small inner circle. I had to soul search, <i>REALLY</i> search.What I knew was that I loved my family, my non profit was important to me, and that I needed better boundaries. The question for myself came on how to do that. </div>
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I had forgotten a little bit about what my ultimate goal with my non profit was. That was to help birth parents. Help them grieve, help them feel loved, and to know they weren't alone. I decided to take it slow. Planning just one retreat at a time, and being conservative and careful. I put up so many walls, even my very closest friends and family were held at arms distance. </div>
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What I found was, people still wanted the retreats, they still found out about the retreats, and they still came to the retreats. I realized that although I was not a perfect person, my heart was still in it and still the same old overly compassionate and empathic me. </div>
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I found my love with e-commerce and marketing and had fun with my inner circle. I learned the hard way that this life is about quality not quantity. I decided to start really participating in my life for me, not just for others. I took one vacation every month that year, and it was G L O R I O U S. I was starting to remember what made me laugh, what made me cry, and what I was about. </div>
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I got really sick, and my close and loving friends banded together to support me through it all. I started to realize that I had left many old friends in the dust and that made my heart hurt. I started to reconnect with them and with what mattered. </div>
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That year included many tough blows, but also many amazing miracles and moments. </div>
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While I realize this post is so far discombobulated, I needed to write it for cathartic reasons. </div>
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I am Jessalynn. </div>
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I am beautiful. While I may not be as thin as I'd like to be, or as graceful as I wish, I am beautiful. </div>
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I have a good heart. One thing that has never changed about me is that ultimately I will always put others above myself. ALWAYS. I will make every move possible to ensure someone's happiness. However, my heart now has some more boundaries, where I make sure that I am protected. The boundaries don't change the fact that I love others fiercely and loyally. I feel their pain and feel their joy. I want to always be someone others can turn to. </div>
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I have a voice. A voice that matters. </div>
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I am a mother. My children need me, but I need them more. They are everything to me. </div>
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I am spiritual. I believe in God deeply. I know he is there for me and he hears me. </div>
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I love adoption and I will continue my non profit as long as I remain able. I am still currently able due to many angel friends (and some unicorn ones) who also felt passionate about my work. </div>
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Through all of this, I have so much more to discover, so much more to learn. </div>
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My second reason for writing this post was to say, </div>
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If I have offended you, I am sorry.</div>
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If you have questions, you can ask. </div>
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If you need me, I am here. </div>
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If you question me, that is fine, I am trying and learning and becoming a better me. <br />
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p.s. shoutout to my kick ass therapist, friends, family, and animals. You da hero. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-33291774223565176192015-08-13T18:39:00.001-07:002015-08-13T18:39:05.997-07:00Hindsightthe other day i was driving my kids to an appointment. i reached back and grabbed something for Mina, then i realized i could have gotten in an accident. <div>
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this triggered me into remembering a time when my mom was single. i remember she reached back into the backseat for something and we crashed. </div>
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it got me really thinking... my mom was single, she didn't have expendable income, that crash must have been really stressful for my mom. i don't know if she cried after it all or during i don't remember that. </div>
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but i wonder if she did. </div>
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i wonder if she just wished for someone to give her a hug to calm her down as she did for me and my sister. someone to tell her it would be okay and make her believe it, if only for a moment.</div>
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i wonder if she sat pouring over her checkbook wondering how she was going to afford to get a new car if it was totaled. </div>
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i wonder if she was worried how she would cover the medical bills for her whiplash.</div>
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i wonder what else was on her mind that day that was already stressing her out, and the crash was the straw that broke the camel's back. </div>
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i wonder how she made it through all she did and still held her head high. </div>
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just so many things i didn't even realize she must be going through when i was so young. i just was. i was just me, living my kid life, playing outside, making plays and talent shows with my sister.</div>
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so many times i am stressed. stressed to my limit. </div>
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how will i keep on working from home while juggling 2 kids?</div>
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how will i deal with the health issues?</div>
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how will i make it through this miscarriage?</div>
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how will i ever raise my kids to be functional adults if i myself don't feel like one?</div>
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but i know. there is something to be said about unconditional love and trying your best. they are alive, they are fed, they are loved. loved so so much. </div>
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yes, i know. </div>
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the kids, will be okay.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-56734284418785334892015-04-24T09:00:00.002-07:002015-04-24T09:00:39.571-07:00And Cheer Our Cougars of BYUGuys. My sister Kylie graduates today. Well she is actually graduating RIGHT NOW. ... and Chad too, I love him but this post is not about him...love you Chad :)<br />
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Kylie is my sister...junior by 3 years. </div>
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We went through a lot of traumatic events our first few years of life. It wasn't easy for her from the time she was born. But she was loved. </div>
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When she was 6 (i think. I am so bad at dates) She was diagnosed with something scary. It was called Chiari One Malformation, its not a joke. Seriously <a href="http://www.mayfieldclinic.com/pdf/pe-chiari.pdf">READ IT</a>! We were all scared. The doctor told us she shouldn't have been able to be doing stuff like gymnastics and dance which she was doing very well. I remember my parents spent a lot of time at the hospital with her (Yay Primary's!). I remember visiting her and being so scared that something was wrong and she wouldn't be okay (Boo Anxiety) </div>
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But she was. Her face was a little fat for a while, but we won't hold that against her on the account of her B R A I N ----- S U R G E R Y!</div>
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So anyways, Fat face Kylie turned into cute Kylie. </div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Although there was that one time that she was talking to herself in the bathroom, saying, I'm not a chicken nugget, YOU'RE a chicken nugget...Weirdo</span></div>
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We grew up acting out plays, making ridiculous videos on the video camera, playing at the Draper pool, going on roadtrips every summer, flying out once a year to see my dad and experience cool life things. We have experienced 1 divorce, 2 remarriages, 7 more siblings, several moves, and more. </div>
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We have done a lot. </div>
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I was a hard person to live with, and because of that I wasn't always the best sister. I struggled with what I now know is severe anxiety disorder, but i didn't know how to control it. This meant that Kylie had to deal with my grand psycho-ness all the time. I hate that. But she managed to still live with me. </div>
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As long as I can remember my sister has always wanted to go to BYU. She studied hard in high school, she got the grades, she got in and left for college. She has had a rough couple years in college dealing with various personal issues. But she got through them. She didn't give up, even though there are times I know she wanted to. In the middle of that she got married to Chad (oh hey again Chad). They got a dog named Piper. NOW they are finally graduating!!! I am so proud of her! </div>
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Kylie is an incredible aunt and an awesome person! She is very passionate about what she does. She supports me in my open adoption. She loves my kids, sometimes probably more than me. I am beaming with pride and joy to introduce you to the newest graduates of BYU!!! (yes, even you Chad)</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-71825892046285654642015-03-24T20:01:00.001-07:002015-03-24T20:01:55.672-07:00Why we should SHUT UP about other's bodies...I love to get together and talk with my girlfriends. I will admit honestly that it hasn't always been the nicest conversations either. We gossip about mutual friends sometimes, and that is not okay. It is my 2015 goal to no longer do this needless gossiping. No one is perfect, we all need to vent, but it is mean.<br />
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What bothers me more than gossiping is gossiping about other's bodies. This I <i><u>r e a l l y</u></i> shy from for a few reasons. 1. My body is not what the world says it should be and I have no reason to make fun of anyone else. 2. I used to work at an eating disorder clinic where I saw girls and women struggle <b><i>EVERY DAY</i></b> with their bodies even though in the world's eyes they were gorgeous women. They all had their own stories to tell of how their eating disorders started by being bullied, their parents' comments, media, etc. All reasons had to do with one time or another, someone telling them how their body should look.<br />
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I believe in being healthy, which is something I really have to strive every day for. For some reason I <span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><i>love</i></span> crappy food and I work on it <b><i>EVERY SECOND</i></b> of the day to resist it. It has always been a struggle. I have been through endometriosis, the trauma of placing a child, having two children shortly after, and many bouts of depression, to top it all off my genes are terrible. "Excuses" I know, but to me they are very real "excuses"<br />
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A few weeks ago I had someone who I would consider close criticize my weight within ear shot.<br />
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Things like:<br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She looks P R E G N A N T</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Her legs look fine but her stomach...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Her face is chubby</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She just looks <b>HUGE</b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She will struggle her WHOLE life being fat.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Yes person (that I can no longer stand to think about with crying or feeling rage), I am bigger than I should be and is publicly "acceptable". Yes my stomach is very bloated. I struggle with things like IBS and Endometriosis that certainly don't help with that, but mostly I struggle with social eating. Yes I will struggle my whole life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">You don't need to say it. I don't need you to. You don't get to say that. My body is NOT your body. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What if she had chosen another topic, like the weather or who got the latest rose on the Bachelor? Would I be hurt at this point in time? Would it have absolutely destroyed any last ounce of self confidence I had? No. I would of continued about these last few weeks, fighting my demons and still finding a little bit of beauty when I took the time to get cute, and to feel proud instead of discouraged when I chose a protein shake over waffles in the morning. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I understand we are the masters of our own happiness, I am striving to find my happy regardless of the above conversation. But we also have the chance to be contributors to someone else's happiness rather than discouragement. We have the choice to build others up rather than tear them down. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Since that conversation, when I see food, I seriously get terrible anxiety, i watch if others are watching me, I generally come close to tears or do actually cry... All because someone felt the need to criticize me..out LOUD. In ear shot. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So let's do what Ellen says at the end of each show, " BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We have so much power to do good and lift others up. We have power to be the change. </span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-7348456853647810462014-12-30T08:41:00.004-08:002014-12-30T08:41:49.413-08:00About this girl they call Mina.<div style="text-align: center;">
Mina turns Three today! THREE!!!! </div>
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Where has my little girl gone. </div>
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I remember when she looked like this: </div>
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my itty bitty 7lb 11oz babe. </div>
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I could never imagine her growing into THIS GIRL:</div>
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A girl who is OBSESSED with daddy. He is her "buddy" Mommy is her "baby" but Daddy is her "Buddy". She loves to do things with him. She gets so excited when he comes home! </div>
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Mina loves music and loves her aunts and uncles. This is from when she got to see her Uncle play in the marching band! Mina's current favorite songs are Boom Clap, Shake it Off, Ain't it Fun, and Madness.</div>
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Mina loves to be outside. She loves Water. She loves to help mow the lawn and chase grasshoppers.</div>
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Mina loves to wear socks on her hands. She calls them her Guh-loves. a LOT of nights she wants to wear them to bed. She will go to the grocery store in them and everything. I am glad she is unique and quirky. I wouldn't have it any other way.</div>
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My beautiful baby turning into a beautiful young girl. </div>
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her current favorite words/phrases:</div>
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For example</div>
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Nannylicious (my mom)</div>
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Grandude (my dad)</div>
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___, you are so great, good choice</div>
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___ you are beautiful</div>
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Evan is my brudder? or is he my sister? </div>
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No Evbot, you wittle stinkhead</div>
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her current favorite movies/ shows:</div>
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SuperWhy</div>
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Nightmare Before Christmas</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"> (random note, I hadn't seen this in years, Izzy showed it to her and now she is OBSESSED with this movie.)</span></div>
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Clifford</div>
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Despicable Me 2</div>
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Wreck-It Ralph</div>
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Up</div>
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Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs</div>
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Good Night Gorilla</div>
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Anything Dr Seuss</div>
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Anything Eric Carle</div>
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Five little monkeys</div>
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Anything with trucks in it</div>
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Happy 3rd Mina Mooseph.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-60083042539631522032014-12-14T14:46:00.000-08:002014-12-14T14:46:27.164-08:00Reference 2009-PresentWhile bitten by the blogging bug I'm going to add one more post. Actually, I'm doing this because it's almost 3pm and my kids are still asleep so I have some time to myself. I'm going to write about my wife because I don't think many people have heard my side of our relationship and I can brag about her accomplishments for her. Lets face it, we all know that people who talk about their own accomplishments are narcissistic d-bags that toot their own horn one too many times. Plus, I'm pretty quiet and reserved and up until now readers are probably like, "what?! Jessa has a husband, I've heard of him but never seen him or knew he really existed." Well, these questions can be answered because I'm only slightly overshadowed by my social pariah of a wife. Plus, I'm like a dog who only comes out of kennel when someone says the word "frisbee."<br />
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But joking aside (joking not fully aside) if you know Jessa, and I'd like to believe I kind of know her now after six years of being together, then you know she is the real deal. I'm writing this now because of her nose to the grindstone tenacious work ethic. Jessa knows how to hustle. She has been presented with a fantastic opportunity that she earned by working her butt off. Not only that but an opportunity that she feels will make a difference in other peoples' lives. </div>
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I met Jessa almost six years ago when she helped push my brother's car out of a snowy ditch. Even then she was making a difference in two people's lives, namely, mine and my hard of hearing brother. To make a long story short I fell in love with an incredible woman and birth mother. Little did I know that being a birth mother was/is as much a part of her as being human. It is characteristic that makes up Jessa's personality. Jessa is probably the most genuinely caring and giving person I have ever met. I'm not kidding when I write this, If Jessa could she would adopt every baby or child in foster care. Countless times when I have come home from school or work there has been a new animal that she found without an owner. I have made her get rid of the animal every time but if I'm to be honest with myself, I really do love that about her. She wants everyone to have a loving home. Even the most pathetic, sickly, and ugliest of Gods four legged creatures to ever walk the face of the earth deserve a loving home. Jessa and I have also had people live with us for most of our marriage. I'm not talking about our kids, I'm talking about vagrant wanderers that were competent enough to put an add on craigslist (that was a joke). Our doors have been open for tenants since 2009. She is always willing to help someone out and loves to do it.<br />
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Jessa jokes with me that I am a better stay at home parent that she is but it's not true. Yes, I am very much a helicopter parent and am borderline obsessive compulsive about cleanliness but she is a fantastic mother to our children. Jessa loves to play with our kids and probably buys them a toy most every time they go to the store because she can't say "no". I can't really say it either, kids just have that effect on parents. Jessa's list of accomplishments are vast, five years military service, birth mother, mother of two, advocate of open adoption, plethora of business ventures, and the greatest accomplishment of all, she married one cynical sarcastic individual. </div>
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I just wanted to post this because I'm very proud of your accomplishments and you deserve this new job. You earned it and worked your butt off for it. I don't really know if people think about gender rolls often but I'm comfortable being a stay at home dad for the next little while. I still have more schooling to finish up and you sacrificed a lot by dropping out of college to raise our kids so that I could finish my degree. Even that didn't stop you from chasing your passions with adoption advocacy. So congrats Jessa and thanks for being patient with me, I know this past year was a tough one for you. Cheers, here's to sunny souther California and the next adventure that awaits. All my love!</div>
Weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14017844375324343877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-12075600532446712542014-12-14T13:44:00.001-08:002014-12-14T13:44:43.422-08:00Homage to LoganAlthough this blog began when Jessa and I were first married this is my first ever blog post. It has been a long time coming. I have never done this before and this post is really for meant to be a memory for myself and hopefully Jessa will enjoy. I apologize for those that follow Jessa and those that are used to her writing style, I don't have a clear direction for this so it might get a little off track and disjointed. So now that I have made clear how my audience is I want to try to compose some things that really capture my love for the city of Logan. I will attempt to write more about Logan itself and some things that I have come to love.<br />
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I moved to Logan in January 2009 from Portland, OR to start school at USU. I thought Logan was a quiet little city and much more rural than I was accustomed to. I have spent the last five years of my life here and when I look back it's crazy how different my life is now compared to that single kid clear back in '09. I didn't know it but I met my wife two months after moving here. Believe me there will be a separate blog post about my wife and her accomplishments soon. Living in Logan in the winter really helped me to find my inner snowboard bum self. I didn't do very well my freshman year of school so I decided to spend three days a week at Beaver Mt. instead. So, besides winter activities what else is there to do in Logan? EAT! That's right, I have never seen more restaurants per capita in my life. I feel that this post would be amiss if I didn't give a shout out to some of the local eateries in Cache Valley. God bless the Tandoori Oven, it honestly looks like an after thought as it is connected to a gas station on 1000 N tucked away near campus. Don't be fooled Jessa and I have a fond love for this place and my compliments to the chefs', you will be sorely missed when we move. The rest of these good eats are in no particular order but must be mentioned. Herm's Inn, La Tormenta, El Salvador, Callaway's, Elements, Charlie's ice cream, Takara sushi, Romo's, and Firehouse, you had me at fahzookie. Logan has some great local eats and I will miss them dearly.<br />
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Cache Valley is home to a pretty awesome ultimate frisbee community. I have always loved playing sports but my love for ultimate grew ten fold once moving to Logan. I will miss the USULT team and the great ultimate community. Plus, Logan is a beautiful backdrop to huck some disc around.<br />
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The mountains that surround the valley are gorgeous. Logan does a fairly good farmer's market every summer to boot. I have really enjoyed the local cheese and produce from this valley. Gossner's dairy has also become a regular in our household.<br />
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Well, to wrap up let me say "thank you" Logan. There is a lot more I could say about Logan but it's hard to sum up my last five years of my life here. It has been in eventful five years of my life. I met my wife, worked at a job I have really come to enjoy, both my kids were born here, all of our pets are from here, I've met some of my dearest friends here, some of the most stressful and tragic events have happened here, the greatest joys and happiest moments of my life have also happened here as well. I'm excited for the next step our family's life and thanks for a great five years Logan, keep it real.<br />
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<br />Weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14017844375324343877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-80419450570400482212014-08-16T05:47:00.001-07:002014-08-16T05:47:08.408-07:00I didn't wait til marriage to lose my virginity, and I wish I hadI keep seeing this post go around about a girl who waited to lose her virginity. While I agree with some points in the article (I.e sex made out to be shameful and guilt ridden) for the most part, I don't.<div><br></div><div>I didn't wait to have sex. I had sex with someone I thought I loved and would love me back forever. I lost my virginity at 18 years old. I knew it was something I wasn't supposed to be doing because of my religion and the morals I had been taught, but I did it anyway. Why? Because if he loves me then it's okay.</div><div><br></div><div>Further down the road, I was an 18 year old girl who was pregnant. At 18 I didn't even know which way was up half the time. I had to make grown up choices, because I made the grown up naive choice to have unprotected sex. I chose to place that baby for adoption and it was equally the worst, hardest, most beautiful experience of my life.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-PvTUZFYvYC0/U-9Sys9FdBI/AAAAAAAAFZY/GaAhXRHZbzs/s640/blogger-image--254681744.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-PvTUZFYvYC0/U-9Sys9FdBI/AAAAAAAAFZY/GaAhXRHZbzs/s640/blogger-image--254681744.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Further down that road, I met a man. A man I really did love. A man I wanted to spend forever with. He was willing to accept me, he was willing to love me, even though I had already lost my virginity and had a baby.</div><div><br></div><div>The problem was every time we had sex I enjoyed it, but then afterwards all I could think about was how I hadn't waited. One time early on in our marriage I had a pain "down there", I was sure it was an std. It wasn't. But it was the first thing that popped into my mind.</div><div><br></div><div>I was and still am, emotionally connected to the person I chose to have sex with, and the person I had a baby with. I have a part of me that is emotionally unavailable to my husband, that isn't fair. It isn't fair to me and it isn't fair to my husband.</div><div><br></div><div>So while I think sex shouldn't be taught as a shameful thing, I do believe in teaching women it has emotional consequences. I do believe in teaching girls it is best to wait. </div><div><br></div><div>I lost my virginity before I was married and I so so wish I hadn't.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-36599411396365462832014-06-24T21:27:00.001-07:002014-06-24T21:27:40.919-07:00Nostalgia.These past few weeks I have been going through a period of <span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>NOSTALGIA.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">In two months it will be Josie's 6th birthday. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>6 years ago and 2 months ago today:</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> <b>i had just placed a baby girl into the arms of her loving family. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>6 years and 2 months ago today:</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> <b>i was in complete and utter shock. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>6 years and 2 months ago today:</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>i was in my dorm room, crying my eyes out, </b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">trying to figure out how to muster through the heartbreak of my newfound<u> </u></span><u>birth mom hood</u>. </b></div>
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This is me while I was pregnant. Single, pregnant, living in a college town, I was ashamed I was pregnant and single, I was never ashamed of my sweet babe. I was proud of her. I knew she was going to be special. I knew she was going to do good things. </div>
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^^ This is me, doing what college kids do, having the time of my life.^^</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">^^ This is me, a day before I had Josie. Not knowing that my earth was going to be shattered just a short time later^^</span></div>
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^^ This is me with J. In Love. In Pain. In Confusion. In Heartbreak. In Awe. ^^</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVAapU7Yj2MDuI37zK3RaG5RgJ0_mSL5yesElC1c8lK-iHFQkikbYQDz6_RW2Jgrc1tWLZOqTmkQ3xRbDpX8KSeboVXrV7vRvv84-mubvBLRHb5rR3P2xHMMIJGTBDDf69A2OOgShbQXk6/s1600/1930657_29002835964_3472_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVAapU7Yj2MDuI37zK3RaG5RgJ0_mSL5yesElC1c8lK-iHFQkikbYQDz6_RW2Jgrc1tWLZOqTmkQ3xRbDpX8KSeboVXrV7vRvv84-mubvBLRHb5rR3P2xHMMIJGTBDDf69A2OOgShbQXk6/s1600/1930657_29002835964_3472_n.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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^^This is me. Fighting through tears. Trying to pretend for everyone I was okay^^</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U18Gt4cEy7s/U6pMOdATGxI/AAAAAAAAFVw/YnHw1RW4xdw/s1600/1930657_29877700964_4473_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U18Gt4cEy7s/U6pMOdATGxI/AAAAAAAAFVw/YnHw1RW4xdw/s1600/1930657_29877700964_4473_n.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">^^ This is me. A few days after. My Best friend's attempt to make me smile. It worked. If only for a short while.^^</span></div>
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The struggle is real my friends. I have been so emotional. Struggling so badly this past month. I know this birthday has hit me the hardest so far. I love that baby girl. I do not regret my decision. But that doesn't change the fact that things are hard on me emotionally. I still can cry, even if I don't regret it.</div>
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One thing hasn't changed:</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vm0VIF6Nxtc/U6pO7BogH6I/AAAAAAAAFV8/P-oKxlQaeGQ/s1600/1238292_10151950039180965_1135062341_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vm0VIF6Nxtc/U6pO7BogH6I/AAAAAAAAFV8/P-oKxlQaeGQ/s1600/1238292_10151950039180965_1135062341_n.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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^^ This girl is still my best friend. I can call her for anything. She gets me. She went through it all with me. She knows everything about the situation. And understands my emotions.^^</div>
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And some things DO change:</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-K1u6rF8oqUA/U6pPNmHe4UI/AAAAAAAAFWE/j60-qKcAAts/s1600/nostalgia2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-K1u6rF8oqUA/U6pPNmHe4UI/AAAAAAAAFWE/j60-qKcAAts/s1600/nostalgia2.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
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^^I have these goons to take care of me. To love me. To see me through. ^^</div>
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All of these memories, these experiences, I am grateful for them. I always will be. They made me who I am today. "There is always gonna be a part of me that is sloppy, that is dirty, with all the other parts of me. And I like that. " Experiences are what make us. Memories are what help us. </div>
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Love is what gets us through. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-12607498232752388462014-06-10T17:28:00.001-07:002014-06-10T17:28:24.041-07:00Getting Bigger Everyday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Ih9j_XLp5xIrjN6yeikb817kZO_7WWfczjzyEZ4w5cvseyRnd_j3s5SsuLGn2CBKFWc85j66B8e86E_FZzskj5pjxYJQB2qGm_VxKUW3AHTlYlKxAA8y_OkxUirUXyZ7tMeT4bVH3dwx/s1600/10387466_10152118271615965_5170011949214029693_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Ih9j_XLp5xIrjN6yeikb817kZO_7WWfczjzyEZ4w5cvseyRnd_j3s5SsuLGn2CBKFWc85j66B8e86E_FZzskj5pjxYJQB2qGm_VxKUW3AHTlYlKxAA8y_OkxUirUXyZ7tMeT4bVH3dwx/s1600/10387466_10152118271615965_5170011949214029693_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-72slxAtZXVs/U5eebpPW6nI/AAAAAAAAFSo/bbQjpD7azZE/s1600/10414423_10152104697445965_3237068783521632578_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EEnA1RYaZEs/U5eechN-gjI/AAAAAAAAFS8/6odOVaQughk/s1600/10464111_10152118271620965_9003952140207061554_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EEnA1RYaZEs/U5eechN-gjI/AAAAAAAAFS8/6odOVaQughk/s1600/10464111_10152118271620965_9003952140207061554_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-72slxAtZXVs/U5eebpPW6nI/AAAAAAAAFSo/bbQjpD7azZE/s1600/10414423_10152104697445965_3237068783521632578_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><u>MINA ALYSON</u></b></span></div>
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Mina is now 2.5. </div>
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*Her favorite foods are Bratwurst, Pizza, Salad, Watermelon, And Strawberries</div>
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*Her favorite activity is to play outside in the pool or swing in the hammock. She also loves to give the dogs a bath and read books. </div>
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*Her favorite book is Barnyard Dance, Happy Hippo/Angry Duck, and The Very Busy Spider.</div>
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*Her favorite songs are Happy, Ain't It Fun, Let It go, and Madness</div>
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*Her favorite Tv show is STILL Yo Gabba Gabba, But she will now watch Blues Clues.</div>
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*Her favorite Movie is Frozen. We know it word for word. </div>
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She can Count to ten, kinda say the alphabet, almost name all her colors, and say her full name.</div>
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She has a lot of the songs on the radio memorized, all her favorite books memorized, and she quotes movies all the time. </div>
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She has a love/dislike relationship with Evan. She will hug him one minute and beat him up the next. </div>
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Her phrases as of late:</div>
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Yahhhh Buddy</div>
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I got Two ems (two of them)</div>
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Daddy is a buddy</div>
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You are annoying me</div>
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I'll Show Ya (from UP)</div>
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Somebody's Gonna Die Tonight (Despicable Me 2)</div>
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No! I'll do it. </div>
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I don't want to daddy.</div>
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You have to work Thursday?</div>
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It's 2:56 a clock</div>
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Also side note. Mina wears socks on her hands EVERYWHERE! For realsies….she calls them her 2 guhloves. If we do not have them, she loses it and throws a major tantrum. </div>
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<b><u>EVAN</u></b></div>
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Evan is 11 Months (on the 30th)</div>
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His Favorite foods are Sweet Potatoes, Peaches, Prunes, and anything he finds on the floor crawling around. He also really likes watermelon and strawberries. </div>
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His Favorite Activity is to crawl in the grass, swing in the hammock, and make mom carry him everywhere. </div>
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Evan is a cuddly dude. He just wants to be cuddled all the time. </div>
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He can crawl.</div>
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Pull himself up.</div>
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Feed himself finger foods.</div>
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Stick his tongue out. </div>
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Sit up in the bathtub by himself. </div>
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He isn't talking just yet because he is a little delayed due to him being deaf for most of his short life. But now that he is hearing he is starting to babble a lot more and i expect him to start saying words sooner rather than later. He is also close to cruising and maybe walking. </div>
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This kid is seriously the happiest kid in the world. I don't even know what to say but i hit the jackpot. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-34632541748797261442014-06-06T08:45:00.001-07:002014-06-06T08:45:49.042-07:00Dear Single Dad Laughing:I feel your pain. I do.<br />
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I once was single. and pregnant, then placed my daughter for adoption. </div>
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I was "unworthy" for a LONG period of time. </div>
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I missed a lot of my friends weddings, adoption sealings, and what not. </div>
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But <a href="http://www.danoah.com/2014/06/only-if-you-pass-the-questions.html/1">THIS</a> article. This made my stomach hurt. I love your blog. I think it is hilarious. Every time you write another article I sit up in bed and laugh my butt off. This article though, I think it was just bad. </div>
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I understand what it is like to be left out. I understand how it feels to be a little angry towards God, The bishop, the ward, whomever you choose. No one likes to be told they aren't "special enough" or "worthy enough", No one enjoys being excluded. </div>
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Your article reached a new level of bashing, rude, and downright mean in my opinion. If you were once apart of the church you know that for the most part, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints are good people, filled with good hearts. Just as Catholics, Jewish, Baptist, Seventh-Day, Evangelical, etc. The LDS faith focuses on service, love, and family. I got married in the temple. I had to go through the church court, the interviews, everything to get there; but i made it. I loved every minute of it. I sat across the alter from my husband and we were married for time and all eternity. </div>
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Guess what? The church did pay millions for the temples. They do get that money from tithing, but they also get that money from businesses they run. They are self sufficient. You know what else the church has done for me? They paid my rent when i was going to be evicted, they paid for groceries when I had no food, and they helped me find a job when i got laid off. ALL while I was unable to PASS THE QUESTIONS. </div>
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So they have the temple that is sacred and separate. That is their right. Unfortunately it does leave people out, but that is their right. </div>
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You like to get personal so I will too, I have someone very close to me going through a faith crisis. He is the one man I love more than anything in the world. He isn't so sure how he feels about things in the church anymore. He had to miss my sisters wedding, he had to miss our closest friend's wedding. The crazy thing is, No one was upset or appalled by him. They loved him. They hugged him. They invited him into the pictures. It isn't people pretending they care about you (at least in my experience, if it is your experience…you need new family and friends) They genuinely loved him and missed him being there. They are happy you are there to celebrate anyways. </div>
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Here is something I think you were unaware of, as I just became aware of it. In the temple recommend interview, the question that is mostly end all beat all (unless you hate mormonism) Is " do YOU feel worthy" This is an INCREDIBLE question to put in. They are asking you what you think about yourself. They are asking you to take responsibility for yourself. I could not be happier that they chose to put this question into the interview. </div>
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Your lifestyle is different from mine, It is very different. You expected everyone to jump off their seats and be loving and supportive of your new found bisexual lifestyle. Guess what? For the most part people did. But even more important is, shouldn't we Mormons expect the same from you? Can you not give us the same respect that our lifestyle is different? I love you and continue to read your blog even though you are gay, even though you have decided to not be Mormon anymore. Can I not expect the same from you? I thought I could. </div>
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I encourage you to re examine how you talk about other religions so harshly. Because if this was an article about Gays. you would be all over that infuriated. Gays are a group of people, Mormons are a group of people. Not the same? Okay what if I wrote a seething article about confessional in the catholic church…then what? Same thing.</div>
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Let us be accepting. You have the right to be hurt. YES. You don't have the right to be mean. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-8236515866205328612014-06-02T20:41:00.002-07:002014-06-02T20:41:23.031-07:00Springing into Summer!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Ptfy14dM8io52UK8UPxxlJxOm0yjWBqKG4LTCaC832JFRhAxgdLQQO_4VwOK7XATSqCQSQfu7xe43nsVEQ-N_WpfsP68OyNoJKaELU5q0pO0hiprTVRtsXCLp30iVJ_E7zpJ73MzMWwg/s1600/IMG_0018.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Ptfy14dM8io52UK8UPxxlJxOm0yjWBqKG4LTCaC832JFRhAxgdLQQO_4VwOK7XATSqCQSQfu7xe43nsVEQ-N_WpfsP68OyNoJKaELU5q0pO0hiprTVRtsXCLp30iVJ_E7zpJ73MzMWwg/s1600/IMG_0018.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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Mina enjoyed Easter. She found candy and then ate it. That would be stellar for any two year old. Wes this year thought it would be rad to hide papers in the eggs and gave books to the children. The books were things like Barbara Bush's Biography. yah…not so stellar. </div>
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Then we took our family pics on actual Easter Sunday. My kids are so cute, it kills me. </div>
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It was my birthday and Richard's Birthday. We are May 3rd Twins. I love having someone who is always as excited about my birthday as I am :) </div>
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Went to Tucanos with some of my favorite people!! It was so fun!! I love meat, and i love hanging out with friends so overall it was a wonderful day!</div>
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Mina is into picking out her outfits. She currently like snow boots even when 80 degrees outside. </div>
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My sister in law send me my FAVORITE thing from Oregon (besides Burgerville, but I doubt that would last in the mail)</div>
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Desha came to visit and I was so happy!</div>
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The next week Alysia came! Brought friends for Mina and good times. </div>
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Wes and I went to New York and DC. I will post a blog post about that soon!</div>
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I love my Mina Mooseph! She is learning her alphabet, colors, and numbers. She is really smart and blows my mind. </div>
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Evan is turning 1 in July! he is getting so much better! He got tubes in his ears and everything changed for him. We found out he has been deaf and has LaryngoMalacia. He is able to imitate sounds, crawl, and now pull himself up!</div>
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Then to top off the awesomeness, I got a rad card from Josie for birth mother's day. notice how She is brown and I have jaundice. Also notice that she is taller than me. This is probably going to be accurate soon. That girl is growing like a weed! I love her so much!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-46966121015162944702014-04-20T13:25:00.000-07:002014-04-20T13:25:02.113-07:00Because of Him.Last night we went to go see Les Miserables. Quite possibly one of my favorite musicals/broadways/plays.<div>
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This is a beautiful story about beginning again, mistakes, and repentance. Valjean is a man who stole a loaf of bread for his nephew. He is put in prison as a slave for 19 years. He was then set free, but was forever on parole, and could no longer get a job. After he was shown some mercy from a kind bishop, Valjean decides to turn his life around and become an honest man. He changes his name, becomes the mayor, saves people, and raises a child for Fantine. </div>
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This story is so wonderful because it is relatable. We all make really dumb mistakes. We all sin. We all choose the wrong path at times. But just as the good bishop, God is merciful. He loves us unconditionally. While he does allow us to experience consequences to our sins, he also accepts our repentance and forgives us, making our sins as white as snow. </div>
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I made a lot of dumb choices, i still do. God still loves me. He has given me an incredibly beautiful family for time and all eternity. I am thankful to know that he know every single pain i have gone through and I will go through. He is there to lift me when I need it.</div>
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Here are some pictures of our month! Hope you are all enjoying your holiday!</div>
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Took the kids to the aquarium with Briana</div>
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GNO during priesthood session</div>
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Evan sporting the Bucket Hat</div>
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My cute hubby</div>
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Mina enjoying the hammock</div>
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Evan in all his cuteness</div>
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Babywearing is for uncles too</div>
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Kids museum</div>
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Adoption GNO again!!</div>
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Easter! </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-88449822972849940082014-02-23T11:56:00.001-08:002014-02-23T11:56:34.130-08:00Beautiful Kids<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOV-o5-zr_rNDAS89Q6gXtMIF1Ytgl_t3g5QSe08l4KaFZqwHZ0I_pubIBZ6afXQtiXiScwaamhjGSm7pNEvyRmhdEyKUyXedipIKn1rJvCqXfrvblfpRQRrN3tuCCBaQwCHm5JRxtXE2h/s1600/IMG_0024.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOV-o5-zr_rNDAS89Q6gXtMIF1Ytgl_t3g5QSe08l4KaFZqwHZ0I_pubIBZ6afXQtiXiScwaamhjGSm7pNEvyRmhdEyKUyXedipIKn1rJvCqXfrvblfpRQRrN3tuCCBaQwCHm5JRxtXE2h/s1600/IMG_0024.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-44976077866025100082014-02-03T15:36:00.000-08:002014-02-03T15:36:41.236-08:00Miss Mina Talks A LotHoly smokes this girl can talk! WOWZA!! It was almost overnight that our baby girl decided she was an amazing conversationalist. She NEVER stops, even when asleep she is still babbling on and on.<br />
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Here are some of Mina's newest catch phrases:</div>
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"Daddy/Mommy/Bo, You come here RIGHT NOW."</div>
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"Don't touch me Evan."</div>
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"I want tacos"</div>
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"I want pizza"</div>
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"I need sheereal" (cereal)</div>
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"I don't want it"</div>
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"Cute mom, pretty, i love it" (said anytime I get dressed even if it is pajamas)</div>
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"Im a princess" (anytime she wears a dress or skirt)</div>
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"Mina Alyson….darn it" (anytime she spills or makes a mess)</div>
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"Mommy, wanna watch Gabba? Where'd wemote go?"</div>
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"Read books" (She can quote Goodnight Gorilla, Im a big sister now, and The Very Busy Spider)</div>
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"Daddy, ew sick" (randomly if she sees anything she doesn't like)</div>
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"Go and play with kids" (When she wants to go jumping or to nursery"</div>
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"Oh no, I neezed"</div>
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"Get boobs on" (Get boots on. It is funny EVERYTIME)</div>
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"What's that noink?" (What's that noise)</div>
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As you can see she is Bossy, knows what she wants, and very opinionated. She spends her days playing with toys, coloring, talking on the phone (a ninja turtle phone mind you), and reading books. She has a love hate relationship with Evan. She loves going to the jump zone and the fun park. She really likes it when dad helps her make eggs for breakfast. Her favorite color is Blue. And she tries to ride bo all the time. She loves to put her baby dolls in the stroller, carseat and playpen she got for her birthday. </div>
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There ya have it. Mina Alyson at her finest.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-7072315664125815602014-01-20T22:14:00.000-08:002014-01-20T22:14:20.925-08:00Winter Days…never go away…to uh bring on the summer nightsWe have been crazy busy. The days seem to all mush together into a big bunch of day mushiness. <div>
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We started this year off with a bang. We decided to have this as our family motto for 2014. I think the key to success in life is picking up and trying again. </div>
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Maria and I had a girls night out to party and have fun before she left me forever and moved to Wales (no not the Wales in the UK but the Wales in Utah) We dressed up pretty together and had a heck of a time, stuffing our mouths with delicious pasta and fresh baked bread. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWpC8Z8pmxrxEe8y40K23ocSisdRfmhilEzKhF2kbJZpQtC9Lk0WDCyJqTTfGtLVt5-VygMxTlCX4UfLJZyDyg7SNEUgiaTzhF0QrPqgUbS2V58DdXBNZ0yDqFE_rNnL3bbIIjfU9sellX/s1600/IMG_0020.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWpC8Z8pmxrxEe8y40K23ocSisdRfmhilEzKhF2kbJZpQtC9Lk0WDCyJqTTfGtLVt5-VygMxTlCX4UfLJZyDyg7SNEUgiaTzhF0QrPqgUbS2V58DdXBNZ0yDqFE_rNnL3bbIIjfU9sellX/s1600/IMG_0020.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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Then Mina had a bad day. She got Croup and the flu on the same day. they admitted her to keep an eye on her hydration. First she was sad and just wanted to cuddle. </div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gmpSXLwV7fg/Ut4EgR4rriI/AAAAAAAAEz0/zAnJLV1GjQI/s1600/IMG_0027.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gmpSXLwV7fg/Ut4EgR4rriI/AAAAAAAAEz0/zAnJLV1GjQI/s1600/IMG_0027.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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Then they hydration helped her perk up a bit. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIfKm2dOobXK9BUO6la0yfI_QTSv5CatpvOWksvbgVPhO4GMq8Vn7wZ-sHcP253Sqyie_kFQP_BaUBYVEDDbDWHqLc1dCTZN4U150sHxEpYvyDmZnad7u8i88equEJYJvT1aiQOtmEwciC/s1600/IMG_0031.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIfKm2dOobXK9BUO6la0yfI_QTSv5CatpvOWksvbgVPhO4GMq8Vn7wZ-sHcP253Sqyie_kFQP_BaUBYVEDDbDWHqLc1dCTZN4U150sHxEpYvyDmZnad7u8i88equEJYJvT1aiQOtmEwciC/s1600/IMG_0031.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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Then she just got plain board so the sweet nurses hooked up her IV pole to a wagon so she could go on a walk around the hospital. EVERY single person in the hospice unit wanted to talk to her.</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-40hrYJpRnW0/Ut4E6-O-laI/AAAAAAAAE0c/CxeJq1jld6I/s1600/IMG_0036.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-40hrYJpRnW0/Ut4E6-O-laI/AAAAAAAAE0c/CxeJq1jld6I/s1600/IMG_0036.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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Once Mina got home she wanted to be pampered. She decided to put some of my mascara off. </div>
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Then she came with mom to get her nails done by Tiff.</div>
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We decided to explore the toy store. I found a pet unicorn.</div>
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Mina found a doll that she was sure was Josie. We explained to her that not every person of color was a doll. </div>
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Bo had a leg injury and just had to cuddle on the couch. </div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fIOtvfL92ng/Ut4FQMb2P2I/AAAAAAAAE08/yILL3Uzte7M/s1600/IMG_0595.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fIOtvfL92ng/Ut4FQMb2P2I/AAAAAAAAE08/yILL3Uzte7M/s1600/IMG_0595.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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We all went out for a Fzhookie. It was delicious. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwXukhg1QTNsyunpn0VIHjpTgLRdGwxCealDDarnClKwDs421IpV32VN4M6KH79JlU4_KnAYUpDx7zPsqb6kDWPCLLgKv_cKaKJoSookb7__2BwKkDeZrRyMAo1XvA_T6oMEt_JaJ4tD1U/s1600/IMG_0599.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwXukhg1QTNsyunpn0VIHjpTgLRdGwxCealDDarnClKwDs421IpV32VN4M6KH79JlU4_KnAYUpDx7zPsqb6kDWPCLLgKv_cKaKJoSookb7__2BwKkDeZrRyMAo1XvA_T6oMEt_JaJ4tD1U/s1600/IMG_0599.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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Mina decided she wanted to be swaddled. No Joke she sat there for half hour. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5vHo-B_ayXDvcvY9P9EMew5LIEbVaMvUMzcfsVgD0PvoORf_2XGp54y3i3KMAKAeQaL8fmRvUt8l5OQoPO95ATtDkzbjvIMHuUiQhyqOPZhYY4Yj_65LMzFs0LyKIddSgj8hL9Rcqbnbi/s1600/IMG_0602.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5vHo-B_ayXDvcvY9P9EMew5LIEbVaMvUMzcfsVgD0PvoORf_2XGp54y3i3KMAKAeQaL8fmRvUt8l5OQoPO95ATtDkzbjvIMHuUiQhyqOPZhYY4Yj_65LMzFs0LyKIddSgj8hL9Rcqbnbi/s1600/IMG_0602.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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Bo is a demon dog when it comes to playing fetch. He will literally sat there for quite some time waiting for Wes to throw the toy. Little did he realize Wes was dead asleep and had no idea the toy was there. Side effects of working a grave.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUIsOZgfnX5yFkNi9-_3xEQrkacdHybmhY1lUT9U-dDtzF5EnYJ_O7BaaBFAMH3YrfYWINShaYOws2vhcMSkVD1o0MmN9TNJEP01OVkWrnDasq4DP2n-wJTNwJMIeSOofCwq-yAVLzTtrL/s1600/IMG_0603.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUIsOZgfnX5yFkNi9-_3xEQrkacdHybmhY1lUT9U-dDtzF5EnYJ_O7BaaBFAMH3YrfYWINShaYOws2vhcMSkVD1o0MmN9TNJEP01OVkWrnDasq4DP2n-wJTNwJMIeSOofCwq-yAVLzTtrL/s1600/IMG_0603.JPG" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
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Wes and I got a free trip to Park City. We got to go to the olympic qualifiers for the Luge. It was pretty rad. I couldn't believe how fast they went. </div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Jg7x9IwHbsw/Ut4FdoSOeZI/AAAAAAAAE1U/8a7k31xfNzE/s1600/IMG_0606.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Jg7x9IwHbsw/Ut4FdoSOeZI/AAAAAAAAE1U/8a7k31xfNzE/s1600/IMG_0606.JPG" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC7SaBw_2ktnAeWxY7OzU42DfdrXZNQlIciGkUikz6NfPmPVoAwaKiO3dzFxrnTYzyz-MouID_BBrVTd5i7LP8tfD0kehqnOSJX073QJTHWoAiYgBeNeJO73wzEVtUY2sNwhBbCl2IB1iw/s1600/IMG_0608.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC7SaBw_2ktnAeWxY7OzU42DfdrXZNQlIciGkUikz6NfPmPVoAwaKiO3dzFxrnTYzyz-MouID_BBrVTd5i7LP8tfD0kehqnOSJX073QJTHWoAiYgBeNeJO73wzEVtUY2sNwhBbCl2IB1iw/s1600/IMG_0608.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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Evan decided to channel his inner Santa with his outfit from Nana</div>
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Mina found a new love for snow…and the color pink. She went sledding for her first time, threw a snowball, and tried several hats on. </div>
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Now we have to go through some more pics that are out of order.</div>
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Mina has a new buddy named Max. She loves to hang out with them. They look like twinners</div>
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Mina tends to wear him out. </div>
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The only thing that wears Mina out is car rides. She decided to pull her hat over her face so that she didn't have to deal with life.</div>
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One day Mina decided to be incredibly naughty and pour a can of formula and a thing of baby powder all over the dog, the kitchen, and the dining room. I had to go to a happy place. </div>
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Mina channeled her inner Cider Wine-O. She enjoyed it very much. </div>
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We decided to take Mina bowling. I hate to admit this but she beat us. BAD. She is somehow really amazing at bowling. I have no idea where it came from.</div>
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Wes taught her the way of cosmic bowling.</div>
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She then got distracted by the slinky she won earlier.</div>
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Evan got bored and fell asleep. </div>
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Mina played an angel in the nativity this year. She was just stoked about the hat.</div>
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My mom and aunt got all the cousins matching pajamas!!</div>
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Mina loved playing with her aunts and uncles all day. </div>
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Papa and Nana Heidi bought her a BIG girl bed. She loves it. </div>
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For Mina's birthday we took her on a ferris wheel. She thought it was pretty amazing.</div>
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Well that is all for this post. Love y'all!!</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-36280903919387418532014-01-14T15:40:00.001-08:002014-01-14T15:40:00.195-08:00Help me out!! https://fundly.com/birthmom-retreat?noguide=1Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-28912503721352266572014-01-03T23:56:00.001-08:002014-01-03T23:57:06.668-08:00BEFORE/AFTER…LipoRemember how I have been fat for the past 5 years? I decided to do something about it. Here is what I looked like a month or two before I started all this madness.<br />
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First: I decided to start watching what I eat. not dieting. Just eating real healthy foods. I followed my good friend Desha's advice. Followed <a href="http://www.weedemandreap.com/">THIS BLOG</a> and <a href="http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/">THIS BLOG</a>, I found a lot of recipes on <a href="http://www.glutenfreeonashoestring.com/">HERE</a> and started working out over <a href="http://www.planetfitness.com/">HERE</a>. I lost 20 pounds. HOLLA!!!</div>
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So I then decided to get Lipo. My whole life…as many of you have heard before…I have had a gut. Doesn't matter that I hadn't had kids, I always had a pooch. Some say it was a cop out. For me it was a boost I desperately needed to feel hope that I could look and feel beautiful. I understand all the statements of "you are already beautiful", I appreciate them. But I didn't feel it. I walked through the store much less than confident with my head down. I always pulled my shirts any which way to make sure it was hiding the pooch. I bought countless pieces of shape wear. </div>
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So back to Lipo….I got my Lipo at <a href="http://www.belladantemedical.com/">THIS FACILITY</a>. I had gone to consultations before. All quoted me WAY more than I could ever afford. Belladante quoted me an attainable amount. They were friendly, honest, answered my questions, and made me feel comfortable. I set an appt and I was stoked. </div>
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December 15-17 I didn't sleep because I was scared/excited/anxious/etc. December 18th my husband dropped me off with a kiss and I walked in. It was fairly painless and relatively quick. They drug ya up, numb ya up, suck out the fat, and put some bandaids and foam on your belly, cover it in a compression garment, and send ya on your way. </div>
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It is a little sensitive but not intolerable pain. The first night was mostly just uncomfortable to sleep. </div>
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2 weeks later (December 30) They took my bandage off. I could not believe the difference. They are going to give me the bare belly before and after after 1 month. It was unbelievable. I can't explain it but something just changed. I was proud of being me again. I found confidence. I found hope that with more eating right and exercise I could be a downright sexy beast. </div>
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Now next week I start the VelaShape which will help bring the swelling down more. They told me at 3-5 months you will see the full results. If anyone wants to see the awesome picture of the 5 pounds of fat they sucked out of me…let me know…its rad, but I didn't wanna freak anyone out. </div>
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Without further ado….the before (day of surgery: Dec 18) and the after (yesterday: Jan 3)<br />
HINT: Click on the picture to enlarge. </div>
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And for any of you peeps in UT thinking of getting it done (or any procedure for that matter) if you go to Belladante and mention my name…you will get 10% off. </div>
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Disclaimer: I was not compensated of this post….i just really like these dudes and asked how I could help promote them. Also side effects may include extreme confidence, feeling sexy, and your husband struggling to keep his hands off of your hot self. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-48763802953882394242014-01-03T20:57:00.002-08:002014-01-03T20:57:45.358-08:00Chivalry is Dead….for realsies<div>
This is going to be short…but i needed to share it somewhere.</div>
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So, Wes and I walk into Jiffy Lube with our two kids. I am carrying Evan in his seat and he is holding Mina. There is also an older lady (i'd guess mid sixties) in there along with quite a few other people. The rest were sitting. There were 3 younger guys (two in their twenties, 1 in his teens), all playing on electronic devices, the rest were also mothers with children and older seniors. As we are standing there…not one, not a single one offered their seat to either myself or the older lady who were standing.<br />
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Now, I understand maybe one of these people had a disability and couldn't offer the seat…chances are they were fine. They were lazy, inconsiderate, and just didn't care. Of course I was going to live standing that whole fifteen minutes, but it is the principle of the matter. I am a woman holding a baby, she is a senior citizen…you made eye contact with all three of us standing people. Do the right thing. Especially that kid who was no more than 15 playing on his psp. Sit on the floor for goodness sakes!!</div>
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This happens quite often. I will walk into a store, older men always hold the door for me, younger ones…almost never. </div>
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I don't care if I am not your wife. </div>
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I don't care if that lady is not your grandmother. </div>
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You get off your lazy butt and offer up your seat. </div>
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This has made me realize that as a mother I am going to POUND into Evan's head what it means to be considerate. I will teach him to open the car door for any girl, even if he is not dating them. I will teach him to offer his seat no matter what to those standing who could use the chair. I will teach him that he better always hold the door. </div>
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I still am in disbelief. Have been all day. </div>
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Mothers, please…please teach your boys to be MEN. Chivalrous men. </div>
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Mostly out of selfishness because that baby carrier is really heavy. </div>
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I am thankful my husband will always carry both Mina and Evan to and from the car for me. He always leaves me the lighter load. For that I am eternally grateful (yep i just pulled a toy story line on ya)</div>
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Rant over. Have a good weekend. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-76927746660403689812013-12-24T01:21:00.000-08:002013-12-24T01:21:02.382-08:00This Year Changed Me<div>
Disclaimer: This post is kind of long. But it was so important to me to get it off of my chest, I needed it more specifically for journaling purposes. I am not going to lie though I love this post and it lifted my spirits tonight. </div>
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A lot about this year has changed my life, for the better. <div>
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I endured a lot of very hard trials this year. I visited the hospital and doctors probably at least 50 times. I was admitted to the hospital for an extended stay at least 4 times. I lost my faith in the church. I lost my best furry friend who was always by my side. I had several friends die, a few of which through their own choice. But because of these trials I learned a lot.</div>
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<b>I learned to LOVE: </b>not the superficial "I love cupcakes, rainbow farting unicorns, and lemonade" love. I am talking the true, deep, unbelievable heart so full you want to cry love. I learned to hug my children and kiss their face til they won't let me. I learned to enjoy ever cuddle even if it means not getting laundry done. I learned to get off my phone and talk to Mina and hear her, learn from her, laugh with her, and sometimes just watch. I can feel Christ around me when I see her smile. I try to never pass up a moment to cuddle with Evan. I love holding him in my arms, rocking him to sleep, listening to his breaths, sighs, and giggles. I learned to only look for good in my husband. To tell him how much I love him with every chance. I learned to compliment him often, thank him for even the little things, and just hug him for minutes instead of quick hugs and keep moving. I learned to love my family, even in their shortcomings. I love them with all of me. I love each and every one of them for different reasons and am so incredibly thankful for the light they bring into my life. </div>
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<b>I learned to have COURAGE: </b>I am not afraid. I have always tended to be bold and outspoken. HOWEVER, I have also sometimes struggled to say what I truly feel if I am afraid it might hurt someone. I also have been embarrassed or nervous to share about my religion. This year that has changed (and I am still working on it.) I am not afraid to bear my testimony. I am not afraid to tell people I am LDS, I believe in Christ, I believe in life after death, I am thankful to be married to my husband and my family for time and all eternity. I was not afraid to tell people where I stood politically. I worked hard on Mitt Romney's campaign (last year) and I loved it. I was not afraid to tell people that I support equal rights. I was not afraid to tell people that I do have deep doctrinal questions about my religion, but I still believe it. I learned to be brave. Telling people how you really feel does many things for your soul. It releases pent up feelings, relieving stress. It teaches people new ideas and view points. It starts great discussions so you can learn new ideas and view points. It also does wonders for your self esteem. I have made the decision to not cower away from my beliefs if it might effect followers on twitter or blogging. I don't care. I am who I am, I believe what I believe. I have made many new friends and learned so many new things from this new found courage. </div>
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<b>I learned to BUILD A TESTIMONY: </b>I lost my faith and found it again all in one year. A lot of it because of one ward that made all the difference in my life, even though we were only in it for a few short weeks. I learned that the gospel itself is perfect, I learned the people in and of the church are not. I learned to listen to General Conference and truly take away beautiful truths from the talks. I found strength in asking friends about their beliefs. I learned about other religions. I learned to bring faith, peace, spirit, and love back into our home. I learned to Pray. I learned how to really talk to God again. I learned about my gratitude for The Priesthood. I built my testimony again. I continually build it more and more. I know God loves me, I know he knows about my personal struggles and is there for me, I know he never gives up on me, I know he feels my true intentions on life, and most importantly I know he knows that my struggles are real and that I need help through them. He has sent so many beautiful people into my lives for many different reasons to help me through many different trials. </div>
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the last big thing I learned….</div>
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<b>I learned to LOVE MYSELF: </b>My whole life I have never learned to love myself. Counselors have told me it is one thing or another, I always blamed it on that. This year I took control of it and am working hard to continue this uphill battle. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am compassionate. I love others deeply. I am intelligent. I am determined. I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father and Mother. I learned to be smart about what I was putting in my body. I learned that exercise (although not always fun) is good emotionally and physically. I learned that looks are nothing without loving who you are inside and out. I learned that I am capable of being of confident. Instead of walking around places with my head down, I walk with my head up, say hello to random strangers, smile at everyone, hug people I hardly know. The greatest truth that helped me was I learned </div>
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<b style="font-size: x-large;">TO LOVE MYSELF, I NEED TO LOVE OTHERS. </b></div>
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My friend showed me something really neat that has made a big difference it is called <i><a href="http://eft.mercola.com/">EFT</a>. </i>I know it sounded weird at first to me too. But it really made a difference. To love yourself you have to be at peace with yourself spiritually and emotionally. I made an effort to get ready every day. Even if it was only 5 minutes before Wes got home I did it. I did my hair, put on make up, cute clothes. It made a difference. Then I worked hard to be a better housekeeper. I was proud of myself for keeping my house clean. It made me feel better about my productivity, which in turn gave me more energy. I tried new crafts and recipes, things I wouldn't have tried before, and I enjoyed it. Loving myself helped me with everything else in my life. I learned that I need to be the change in my life. I can not rely on others. I am my own master of my own happiness. </div>
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This year truly was the hardest yet most emotionally rewarding years of my life. I won't be able to list them all, but there are a few people who really made a difference in my journey this year. PLEASE do not be offended if you are not listed. Each person in my life is very important to me but there are a few who made an extra effort to be there for me and help me find myself. </div>
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My Mom. I call my mom literally every day. (i am already crying writing this haha) I sometimes call her 5 times a day. She always answers. She always talks to me. Sometimes I make up reasons to call her because I just want to hear her voice. Talking to her I know she loves me. She lets me cry, whine, and vent. She lets me know it is okay I am not a perfect mom. She encourages me to move on. I have called her in my darkest of hours and she has single handedly pulled me out of them. She doesn't know (well now she will) how those 2 minute chats on the phone change my entire day. I sometimes call her just so that I can get some courage to keep going throughout my day. She is an amazing grandmother. Mina loves her to the moon and back. She asks to go to Nanny's house about 4.2 million times a day. She loves her grandkids so much and would do anything for them. I hated her when I was a teenager, and I will never get over the regret for how I treated her. She is grace, strength, Christ-like love, and a powerhouse. I hope God gives her the biggest most ridiculous mansion in heaven because she deserves it.</div>
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Mina. I chose this picture because it emulates what I feel about her. She was the first person I wanted to see right after I gave birth. She is my world (well now half of it :) ). She has taught me to laugh when things go terribly wrong. She has taught me that how you speak and the emotions you give off greatly effect other people. She has taught me to sit back, relax, and read Good Night Gorilla 89 times in a row. She has taught me to be excited about dandelions, the swimming pool, trucks, music, and exploring. She makes me laugh, she kisses me when she knows I am sick, she rubs my back when I am sad, and she taught me how to get off the couch and do something fun. God sent me this angel. </div>
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Alyson Elizabeth Bernhisel Hammond. Holy moley. I would die without her in my life. She is my bestie. I have now known her for almost 5 years. She is always there for me. ALWAYS. She changes her entire night's plans to watch Mina for me when I got an ENG that left me way sicker than I intended. She helped me start friendly home evenings. She helps me with my struggles in the Gospel. She led me to the beautiful family I placed Josie with. She helped teach me to Love me. She lets me cry, she lets me vent, she lets me talk her ear off. I seriously do not know what I am going to do when she moves next month. I might die, or go broke from traveling there so often. She is going to be an incredible mom and I can't wait to see her take that step in her life. This girl is one of a kind and I don't know how I got so lucky. </div>
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Cory Harker. I learned a lot from him indirectly this year. He doesn't know it. But this kid has taught me to be happy. Keep swimming. Be laid back. Cory is always a good person to be around. He is so kind and just has this bright countenance about him. He and his wife Emily (not pictured) do a lot for us. They have many times called and asked to take Mina for us just to give us a break. Many of those times I was at my wits end and know it was a gift they had the impression to call me. Cory and Emily also taught me that even though things can be hard, if you do what is right, it will all work out in the end.</div>
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Awwww. Evbot. Cutest little boy I ever gave birth to. Evan and I have a very special bond. He loves to cuddle. He loves me to hold him. He loves me to rock him to sleep. He makes me feel like a good mom. I feel so close to heaven when I hold this little guy. I can already tell he has a the sweetest most loving spirit. He has helped me learn to just relax and enjoy the moment. I can not wait to see what he will continue to bring to our family.</div>
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Travis. Travis is my brother in law. Travis endured some pretty rough life trials in recent years, yet you would never know it. He has such a good attitude. He doesn't give up. He just always perseveres and keeps on going. He also taught me to look for the best in people. He rarely says anything negative about anyone. He has a wonderful sense of humor and he loves to serve. He is also a way fun uncle and Mina loves him.</div>
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My dad. This guy is kind of incredible. I am actually super surprised he hasn't been translated already. This man is the most christ-like individual I have ever met in my entire life. I am blessed that he married my mom and took me in as my daughter. I got lucky with having two awesome dads. My dad was amazing growing up. He built us rad gifts, took us on adventures, and just took care of us. He works so incredibly hard it blows my mind. He owns a business (often times working til 2 am), he is a bishop (and he truly loves and cares about EVERY SINGLE PERSON in that ward), he is a father of 6 (and coaches just about every single one of the younger kids teams), he will serve anyone possible, he is a shameless missionary, and a great listener. My dad is always the first to hug me when we come to visit, he asks me how I am doing, how he can help. When you talk to him, you feel the love radiate off of him. I have yet to meet a soul as pure as his. He is genuine. We joke because the kids hate going trick or treating with him, because he stops at EVERY SINGLE HOUSE and has a conversation with them. Growing up we would clean the church every single saturday, then we would go over to ever needed help laying sod, then we would help whoever needed help moving, then we would go visit anyone who needed a visit, then he would let my mom know he invited like 12 people over for dinner the next day. I truthfully am unsure if there were more than 5 or 6 weeks growing up where we did not have anyone over for dinner. That is just how he is. He will give and give and give. </div>
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Tara and Josh. This is an awesome couple. They have endured what seems like an insurmountable amount of struggle, pain, and discouragement in their life. BUT I have rarely not seen a smile on either of their faces. Tara is so happy it kinda freaks me out. She is so sweet, she loves her children more than anything. Josh is one of those people where you feel how incredibly genuine he is as a person. Together they are a super awesome power couple of love and kindness. They are spontaneous, adventurous, and most of all they have so much faith in Christ and his power to get them through anything.</div>
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Nicole. My sister-in-law. Some people want to be astronauts, dentists, or teachers when they grow up. I wanna grow up to be Nicole. shhhhh…don't tell the other speights but she is my favorite. I scored big time in the in-law department. I always wanted a big sister and I finally got one. She is incredible. She is one of the most hands-on moms I have ever met. She educates her children with every possible opportunity. She is not afraid to have a deep deep discussion about pretty much anything. She continually educates herself on anything she can get her hands on. She makes you feel appreciated. She is not afraid to try new things, travel, and make new friends. She finds so much joy in everything she does. She does so much for Wes and I. I feel 100% comfortable in going to her for just about anything I need. She is wise beyond her years. She loves her family. She also really means a lot to Wes, and cares about Wes, which means a lot to me. She believes in having fun and finding joy in simple things. She is one of the people who encouraged me to unplug and REALLY pay attention to my kids and do fun things with them. </div>
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Tim. Married to my best friend. Tim isn't going to have as long of a caption because I haven't known him as long. But Tim taught me this year that it is definitely possible to overcome all trials with the Lord on your side. He taught me to trust in Lord with all thine heart, and lean not to your own understanding. He also taught me that success is not defined in doing things right the first time, it is in actually accomplishing it eventually. Even if it means trying a million bajillion times. </div>
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Richard. This is one of my little brothers. Many people don't know that he struggles with a mental disability. Doctors have had a hard time diagnosing what it actually is but it is some form of Aspergers, mixed with PDDNOS, mixed with Anxiety, and Depression. He really struggles. His life is not an easy one. He hates that he is this way. There are times when his disability takes over and he is mean, violent, destructive, and drives the spirit away. What is so sad about it is he is painfully aware of his disability. He knows he is different. He is high enough functioning that the guilt of his actions when his disability takes over pains hime. Richard loves with all of his heart. He loves the church. He loves and I mean LOVES little kids, especially Mina and Evan. He is so sweet and kind hearted to them. He would do anything for them. Richard was born on my 10th birthday so we share a very special connection anyway. Richard has taught me to learn to cope. To keep pushing forward, to not let your disability define you. He will probably struggle his whole life. Luckily, I know that God gives only his most special of children disabilities. I can not wait to see Richard in the next life, when he is in a perfect state of mind. I love him so much. I think of him often. I am thankful for everything he has brought into my life. </div>
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Shane and Megan. Boy howdy. How do you ever say enough. This year in particular I learned from them to have faith. Have faith that God knows best, even if it tears your heart apart. I also learned that when you live your life doing for others, God will do for you. They are such beautiful people with beautiful spirits, I love them for all that they are. </div>
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Devin. This lady has taught me so much from day 1 of knowing her. I miss living 5 minutes away from her. Devin has adopted 2 children, both with a lot of struggles. Devin puts so much faith in God. She also never stops serving others. The thing I learned from Devin though, is to never lose sight of the big picture. Our struggles are small compared to the big picture. </div>
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Oh Maria. My Maria. I love her. I am so thankful the Lord brought her in my life. Maria is that friend who I called to my house at 3 am when I went into labor. Maria makes my family dinner when I am sick. Maria is my therapist. Maria is the one who took my children to the hospital and called my husband when I got whisked away on an ambulance. She shows up at my house and does my dishes. She makes a really amazing cheesecake. She taught me to go for your dreams. She is just a wee bit older than me and she is almost done with her PhD. She is kind of a badass. She is not afraid to choose a dream and go for it. She also always makes an effort to serve others and see the best in everyone. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqSNyCE7LCsPCmX6kvjm-4OiZpdjocPq2HEhsFxeksNKzHpRMf7rxdQHwOLvDurt5Xtav6WFJ2Efde4Dw1RZvvJlFxxLodfkrJHsjMVI0pEncQLJhrSm79y6GVECi_Yfuj04azpimoJxCD/s1600/1003011_10151795409128829_132808107_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqSNyCE7LCsPCmX6kvjm-4OiZpdjocPq2HEhsFxeksNKzHpRMf7rxdQHwOLvDurt5Xtav6WFJ2Efde4Dw1RZvvJlFxxLodfkrJHsjMVI0pEncQLJhrSm79y6GVECi_Yfuj04azpimoJxCD/s320/1003011_10151795409128829_132808107_n.jpg" width="236" /></a></div>
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The Pickells. Geez I could write a novel about this family. Judi is my aunt. Some of my earliest memories involve her. She has done so much for me in my life and still continues to do so. She has such an amazing testimony of Christ and strives to live Christian values daily. She serves whenever possible. I seriously get texts from her at least once every other week and they usually consist of "what can I do to help you?". The most amazing thing she did for me this year was about a week after I had Evan. I was having some serious depression. I was struggling really bad. Wes had to work close to 80 hours. I think I wore the same pair of pajamas for 3 days straight all day. Judi drove 3 hours to my house. She took me out to lunch. She then gave me 50 dollars to go shopping and buy some new clothes, while she watched my children. She then drove 3 hours back home. I am not lying when I say I cried the entire 3 hours it took her to get to Logan and for the rest of the day after she went home. They were tears of relief. She seriously just cares about people. I can guarantee if somebody needed something she had she would give it to them without thinking twice. She is selfless as they come. Vaughn is her husband. He is no joke one of my favorite people to talk to. First of all I think his cooking could win Iron Chef. Second of all he too lives selflessly. He spent many hours helping me with a legal matter this year. It was so helpful and took a lot of stress off of my family. He didn't have to do it, but he did it anyways. Vaughn is one of my favorite people to see Movies with. I love to talk to him about just about anything. He decided to redo his bathroom and pretty much learned everything on YouTube. No experience, just taught himself, and bam he remodeled his bathroom. His house looks like pinterest. One of my favorite memories of Vaughn is when Wes and I were dating we all drove to the Vegas Bowl together to see BYU vs Oregon. It was awesome. We had so much fun. Vaughn and Judi are wise, and they are always willing to give advice and lovingly share their opinion. </div>
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Desha. I love her. She is not afraid to be herself. Online people think she is a jerk sometimes, but she isn't. She is loyal. She truly cares about other people. the greatest thing Desha has given me is learning to love myself again. She has spent countless hours helping me learn to fix my diet and get my health where it needs to be. She genuinely cares about me. Going to Portland is always so fun to hang out with her. We are as opposite as they come when it comes to religious and political views, but none of that matters. We are just really good friends. She truly understands what it means to love yourself, care for yourself, and make changes to be the best you possible. </div>
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Shauna (ps…<a href="https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/28965181/ourMessage.jsf">they are hoping to adopt</a>) Shauna is an amazing mother. It blows my mind. She never goes a day without posting some crazy fun activity she does with her son Nathan. Seriously. It kind of freaks me out how fun she is. I wish she would adopt me. She has also taught me what it means to unplug and explore fun activities. She truly is not afraid to let her son get messy and bring out his artistic side and learn about himself. I feel like the old me was afraid to let go, and explore, even if it wasn't perfect. Shauna has shown that things aren't always perfect, but try anyways. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTfIHDp_mk90Ip-KPomJpYimWhpKl34Exbvucu2JtpHSugAZA3U07snrY9i1nzCdtQtPJgmiSGoj2aZFWnDQpjMI1wPxG08swbQB0e46UhPvD06fCFS2yrlEKrPotuw8JPEuQu1AJmGsf-/s1600/1474555_10202878428308848_1821867885_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTfIHDp_mk90Ip-KPomJpYimWhpKl34Exbvucu2JtpHSugAZA3U07snrY9i1nzCdtQtPJgmiSGoj2aZFWnDQpjMI1wPxG08swbQB0e46UhPvD06fCFS2yrlEKrPotuw8JPEuQu1AJmGsf-/s320/1474555_10202878428308848_1821867885_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Danelle. She writes <a href="http://www.weedemandreap.com/">THIS</a> awesome website. She has also truly helped me on my journey to bettering my health. Real food is important. She also taught me it is okay to do 80/20. You don't have to go all or nothing. She let me come visit her adorable urban farm and made me want to live at her house forever. I seriously can not wait to own goats. Danelle taught me that when you take care of your body, a lot in your life will change. I love her dearly and her sense of humor kills me. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGqnxgiI0Sip5KW5hi1larhAP6VgFgrZ8l7R5GXKfeVoUSaa5SivTLZHgQnivir82JxGvOREuwDVOdOne4Ywz2K7-MCtR0t4g6gxa0UUzjhbxXKNlJtDEty_aVGGH0riv5efR7XCaKXOzh/s1600/1488107_10152459520914478_2060379763_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGqnxgiI0Sip5KW5hi1larhAP6VgFgrZ8l7R5GXKfeVoUSaa5SivTLZHgQnivir82JxGvOREuwDVOdOne4Ywz2K7-MCtR0t4g6gxa0UUzjhbxXKNlJtDEty_aVGGH0riv5efR7XCaKXOzh/s320/1488107_10152459520914478_2060379763_n.jpg" width="114" /></a></div>
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Tamra. She is awesome. She is a birth momma. I have known her for a few years now. We have taken a few long road trips together. It has been swell. Recently Tamra reunited with her birth son. What I learned from Tamra is to live life. Full force. No regrets. Seriously, I have never met anyone so free and peaceful as Tamra. I mean, she pretty much just hitchhikes everywhere and hope she makes it home. She is incredible. Even though it was incredibly difficult to push through emotional barriers to contact her son, she did it. She is wise beyond her years. I love her forever and ever. </div>
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TWO MORE GUYS!!! haha</div>
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Becca. My Becca. I love this momma. Becca is such an amazing spirit. God sent her to my life when I needed her desperately. It was a trip that almost didn't happen, but it did. Everytime I am with her I am smiling. She just loves. She is love. She is not afraid to be a complete dork with me and have so much fun. I can not imagine the havoc we are going to cause when I am with her for a full week in May. She is not afraid to share her shortcomings and things of her past to help me through my current trials. She is one of the few people I can talk to on the phone for a long time. I love her lots. She taught me that it is okay to get counseling, it is okay to share your feelings, and it is definitely important to be honest with yourself. </div>
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Last but definitely not least, My Wesley. My dear sweet wesley. How will words ever describe what this man has done for me in my life. There are times he makes me so mad I want to scream, but most of the time he makes me so happy I don't know what I did to deserve him. I married up absolutely no doubt about it. Wes will let me cry, he doesn't mind if I just need him to be silent and let me cry. He stayed up with me until 3 am before talking to me when I was feeling depressed and very suicidal. He listens to my irrational fears. He encourages me and cheered me on when I decided to change my lifestyle and go to the gym. He supported me when I decided to get liposuction. He tells me I am beautiful. He calls me Pretty Girl (every time he does, my heart jumps a little). He gives the best hugs in the world. He makes me laugh so hard I have to try not to pee my pants. He can tell you anything about any movie. He listened to my doubts about the gospel and gave me his honest opinions. He gives me blessings at 4 in the morning when I have needed them. He stood by my side with all those countless hospital visits. He is the best dad in the entire world to our children. He plays with Mina, he reads her books, he teaches her new things, he takes her on adventures, he sings her songs, he dances like a goofball with her, and he cuddles with her all day long if she wants. He works 40 hours a week, takes 14 credits, plays on the USU ultimate team, then comes home takes out the garbages, does dishes, and whatever else I need help with. He helps with Evan at night. He never calls in sick. He works so hard to provide. He never complains. He is the best kisser in the world. He makes me laugh instead of fume when I get mad about something trivial. The most important thing Wes does for me, is love me unconditionally. Wes has taught me a love deeper than I knew possible. I can not wait for the many years and eternity to come with this man. </div>
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There are so many more people I wish to individually thank. Maybe I will make a weekly thing of it and thank a few people each week. I love all of my friends and family who make a difference in my life. I hope that everyone has an amazing holiday and is able to be surrounded by love ones of some sort. Please know that even if you are not religious that someone loves you, and you should love yourself. Find that someone within you.</div>
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Also, if you made it through this whole post, congrats. I don't know if I would have read it if I were you. lol.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-16454445748002245552013-12-12T11:20:00.003-08:002013-12-12T11:20:29.848-08:002013 in reviewWell that was fun. 2013 went by far too quickly for my liking. Here is a brief overview of everyone's year.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIQGUy4ZHtVlsT_GuLFRvCL_wXLnJPxgZl2i2Y2zH6pgh5mDmSbTDQ4y7popZHCSePfilhAnMoKZRaOpCjoAgAnYmkCOX7dA3SzV5Td035bHXQH9Dc9pABlplu7umGJYRf9nNHhWsoxmvn/s1600/IMG_0447.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIQGUy4ZHtVlsT_GuLFRvCL_wXLnJPxgZl2i2Y2zH6pgh5mDmSbTDQ4y7popZHCSePfilhAnMoKZRaOpCjoAgAnYmkCOX7dA3SzV5Td035bHXQH9Dc9pABlplu7umGJYRf9nNHhWsoxmvn/s320/IMG_0447.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
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Evan was born and he is super cute. I love this little dude. He loves to cuddle and just be held. He is always willing to smile and laugh. He (very unlike his sister) has a soft little cry that is so sweet. He is 13 pounds and 22 inches. Very little but growing quick. He has rolled over and is starting to sit up. We did find out he is allergic to milk so he is now on hypoallergenic formula. He loves to laugh at the puppy and daddy. He hates baths and loves to kick his little feet. </div>
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Mina had a great second year of life. She went from baby to toddler before my eyes. She talks A LOT. She loves music, Yo Gabba Gabba, books, coloring circles and bugs, and playing with daddy. She is a daddy's girl through and through. She wasn't so sure about Evan at first but she loves him a lot and always plays with him. Her favorite activities are FaceTime, the Jump Zone, Nursery, and eating French Fries and Pizza. She can count to 10, name her colors, and read her name. Her favorite current phrases are:</div>
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-Puppy naked, put some clothes on</div>
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- Go to Nanny's house</div>
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-Hurry, run</div>
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-WESSSSEEEEEEE (screaming for Wesley (dad)</div>
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-I wanna call (nana/gpa/nanny/papa/grandude)</div>
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-Evan sad mama</div>
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-take a bath</div>
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-eat</div>
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I (Jessa) have had an eventful year. I found out I was pregnant, had hyperemisis, had many visits to the hospital for multiple weird diseases, had a baby, figured out how to take care of two kids, I traveled to lots of fun places, started blogging for adoption.net, and planned a retreat in Pennsylvania for next year. I have really enjoyed having Mina interact with me. Letting her brush my hair, cook with me, read books, and color have all been so much fun for me. </div>
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Wes has been a busy man. He goes to school and works full time. He comes home and plays with the kids then does homework. He works so hard and is doing great in school. I am so thankful for his willingness to work so hard for our family. Wes played Ultimate Frisbee for USU, Softball for 3 leagues, fantasy football for 2 leagues, and he played soccer for a league. Wes tore all the ligaments in his ankle but recovered quickly. </div>
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This year we moved into a new house. It is absolutely gorgeous. </div>
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It is a little house built in 1925. It has so much character, ivy growing on it, and a huge .5 acre yard. There is so much space I don't even know where to begin. We are so blessed. </div>
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Shortly after we moved in we lost our sweetheart Rupert. He was unaccustomed to our house being so close to a big highway. It was incredibly hard. I cried so hard, and still cry quite often. He was my best buddy for 3 years. I love him and can't wait to see him again. </div>
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Mina was walking around the house for days looking for Rupert. Wes and I were heartbroken so we decided to get another puppy. I know it seems heartless to move on so quick but we just couldn't imagine our lives without a loving furry companion. We found out about Bo from a little farmer. He is a Border Collie Australian Shepherd. He is a big loving puppy who loves to cuddle and chase the frisbee. He is very smart. He and Mina love to play together and be naughty together. </div>
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Hope you have a wonderful holiday and an even better new year! Love you guys lots!</div>
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The Speights.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1717935761749247077.post-81751106382505923502013-11-21T09:42:00.000-08:002013-11-21T09:42:30.361-08:00Simplicity. Why I dislike most of Christmas.Christmas is a wonderful time of year. It is the time where we recognize Christ's birth. It is where we recognize the beautiful Christmas story from the Bible. As much as people like to take the religion out of it these days, that is what Christmas is RELIGIOUS!<br />
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Here is where I really started to dislike Christmas. Before I say this I need to write a disclaimer. My mom is a wonderful person and I love her very much. We just have differing opinions on some things. </div>
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When my mom was single and we were poor as poor can be. Christmas was all about togetherness. We bought our tree in a parking lot of some store. We would decorate the tree by threading popcorn using a needle. Our fingers would get pricked so much it was ridiculous. We used the ornaments we made at school intermixed with a few ones we bought for cheap at the store. We used the same lights, some were burnt out, some blinked, it was a mish mash. Then we had this horrid cheap looking angel topper. It was UGLY. But you know what, that tree signified so much. We used what we had and we loved it. Then a few years later, something changed. The tree decorating became all about themes. It was about the big expensive ornaments, the perfect strands of light, the perfectly chosen color scheme. I fought with my mom about it. She compromised and we had a little fake tree with all the homemade ornaments tucked in a corner.</div>
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What happened to the simplicity of it all. What happened to the pricked fingers and the homemade ornaments. Why is it a battle who can have the coolest light display in their yard tuned to music. Why is it about who can make the cutest neighbors gifts. Why is about who gets the coolest Christmas card out the earliest. What happened to just putting on some warm clothes, getting a plate of fresh baked cookies, and singing carols in your not so perfect voice to let people know you care. </div>
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One thing I did like about what my parents changed about Christmas….</div>
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Once my mom was remarried they were able to afford more. Christmas turned into a huge affair. We each got like 20 presents. It was kind of ridiculous. One year we spent Christmas with a family less fortunate then ours and my parents changed things up. They decided each kid should get three presents (then the sibling presents as well). This simplified things. This gave us more time to enjoy the gifts with each other and go sledding or something during the day. One thing I love about my sister in law is the fact that she gives her kids mostly books. No 100 dollar toys that are going to get thrown to the wayside in a week or two. Books. Educational items are important. It isn't all about quick entertainment for them, and I love it. Her children are imaginative, they are smart, and can hold a conversation. </div>
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I saw <a href="http://www.quickmeme.com/p/3vpa2h">this post</a> going around the other day. It explained what I have been trying to figure out for a while. When I was younger my sister andI spent our days creating lip sync concerts, putting on plays, and playing school. The coolest Christmas present I ever got was our dad built a stage in the basement. Complete with spot lights and curtains. I practiced and performed on that stage so much. Now my younger siblings, they got kindles. You know what they do at every possible time unless my mom forces them outside? They play on their kindles. In the car, in the family room, in the basement, by themselves, with their cousins….it is pretty much all they do. I spent pretty much every saturday possible when I was their age selling lemonade, they complain when my mom tells them they have to clean their rooms for allowance. …back to Christmas</div>
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This world is so wrapped up in the glamour and the presents and Santa. (I HATE SANTA) People are going out on THANKSGIVING to buy gifts. They start shopping and decorating in October now. That is ridiculous. Shouldn't we focus more on Thanksgiving and gratitude and Christmas with homemade ornaments and serving others? </div>
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This year, I will get a small christmas tree for our house. Mina will make paper ornaments, we will string popcorn. There will be no Elf on the Shelf, there will be no letter writing to Santa. We will read christmas stories about religion, not santa. We will listen to songs like O Holy Night, O come all ye Faithful, Joy to the world….not Santa Baby, and Last Christmas. </div>
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I am not trying to tell you I am better than you. I am just saying, let's bring simplicity back. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4