What bothers me more than gossiping is gossiping about other's bodies. This I r e a l l y shy from for a few reasons. 1. My body is not what the world says it should be and I have no reason to make fun of anyone else. 2. I used to work at an eating disorder clinic where I saw girls and women struggle EVERY DAY with their bodies even though in the world's eyes they were gorgeous women. They all had their own stories to tell of how their eating disorders started by being bullied, their parents' comments, media, etc. All reasons had to do with one time or another, someone telling them how their body should look.
I believe in being healthy, which is something I really have to strive every day for. For some reason I love crappy food and I work on it EVERY SECOND of the day to resist it. It has always been a struggle. I have been through endometriosis, the trauma of placing a child, having two children shortly after, and many bouts of depression, to top it all off my genes are terrible. "Excuses" I know, but to me they are very real "excuses"
A few weeks ago I had someone who I would consider close criticize my weight within ear shot.
Things like:
She looks P R E G N A N T
Her legs look fine but her stomach...
Her face is chubby
She just looks HUGE
She will struggle her WHOLE life being fat.
Yes person (that I can no longer stand to think about with crying or feeling rage), I am bigger than I should be and is publicly "acceptable". Yes my stomach is very bloated. I struggle with things like IBS and Endometriosis that certainly don't help with that, but mostly I struggle with social eating. Yes I will struggle my whole life.
BUT
You don't need to say it. I don't need you to. You don't get to say that. My body is NOT your body.
What if she had chosen another topic, like the weather or who got the latest rose on the Bachelor? Would I be hurt at this point in time? Would it have absolutely destroyed any last ounce of self confidence I had? No. I would of continued about these last few weeks, fighting my demons and still finding a little bit of beauty when I took the time to get cute, and to feel proud instead of discouraged when I chose a protein shake over waffles in the morning.
I understand we are the masters of our own happiness, I am striving to find my happy regardless of the above conversation. But we also have the chance to be contributors to someone else's happiness rather than discouragement. We have the choice to build others up rather than tear them down.
Since that conversation, when I see food, I seriously get terrible anxiety, i watch if others are watching me, I generally come close to tears or do actually cry... All because someone felt the need to criticize me..out LOUD. In ear shot.
So let's do what Ellen says at the end of each show, " BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER"
We have so much power to do good and lift others up. We have power to be the change.
